Nutty Epstein Conspiracy Theories: Did Hillary Kill Him? Trump? Putin? Jack the Ripper? King Kong? Before We Believe a Conspiracy Theory, We Need Evidence.

If you want people to believe something, prove it. It is wicked to accuse people of doing something bad unless you have real evidence. Alas, conspiracy theorists seem to dominate our political world – and here comes the horrible case of accused pedophile Jeffrey Epstein. Aren’t his alleged crimes bad enough? Why do people have to add more wrongs by spreading conspiracy theories? I'll look at some of the conspiracy theories, show why they are unproven, and give ways to tell real conspiracies from unproven conspiracy theories.

The Facts?

Jeffrey Epstein was found dead just this morning, a reported suicide, and the Epstein conspiracy theorists instantly started to clog up Twitter. They popped up faster than mushrooms on a rainy day in Ohio. The conspiracy theorists provide, as usual, no evidence for anything that they are saying. But since when has lack of evidence ever worried a conspiracy theorist?

The facts as we know them so far are: Epstein, a multi-millionaire who got rich with some sort of bizarre financial dealing, a friend of the rich and famous, was arrested and charged with many counts of sex trafficking and having sex with minors. Placed in federal lockup, he attempted suicide but, after several days, was taken off suicide watch, which gave him a second chance to kill himself.

Epstein has been photographed in the company of underage girls together with various famous personages, including President Donald Trump and former President Bill Clinton. Authorities have found records and videotapes that Epstein had made over the years, which might or might not mean that some famous people are getting very anxious.

Still, evidence of a conspiracy is going to take at least a matter of hours or, more likely, weeks or months, to emerge. If famous people did arrange for his murder, they are surely smart enough to work through intermediaries. They won’t be standing over the body with a bloody rope. The fact that the conspiracy theories arose immediately is by itself a sign that the conspiracy theorists are motivated by hatred, suspicion, or malice, not by evidence.

Conservative Nonsense

Conservatives, for example, are assuming that Bill and Hillary Clinton have added Epstein to their so-called “kill list.” As is not unusual for people their age, some of the Clintons’ associates have died of various well-explained causes. Still, every time somebody remotely associated with them dies, conservatives immediately add the name to their kill list. They have no evidence that the Clintons had a thing to do with any of these deaths, but the more conspiracy theories angry people come up with, the more evidence they think they have found. They are wrong. Zero evidence plus zero evidence, plus zero, plus zero, plus zero, equals zero. Every time.

My former philosophy professor William P. Alston compared this sort of thinking to a group of dead people sleeping together to stay warm. There is no evidence for any of the conspiracies, but if you pile up enough conspiracies for which you have no evidence, well – well – in real life – that doesn’t give you any proof that anyone conspired. You have merely proved that, once someone is a target of smears, that person is always a target of smears. The most suspicious conservatives have long called Hillary Clinton “Killary,” just to reinforce their conspiratorial thinking. 

For example, a Twitter account under the name Right in Illinois said that, “Jeffery Epstein is dead along with others in the past who were going to spill the beams on the Clinton's.” (Yes, it says “beams.” No one ever said that conspiracy theorists know how to spell.) President Donald Trump himself retweeted a wild accusation that Hillary Clinton may have been behind Epstein’s supposed murder. The ultra-conservative website Before It’s News has already published an article speculating that Epstein’s death adds to the “Clinton body count.” Laugh out loud? No, this kind of thinking isn’t funny. Not at all.

Liberal Nonsense

Liberal conspiracy theorists, however, point out that the prison was under Department of Justice control, that Attorney General William Barr is an obvious Trump stooge, and therefore assume that Barr must have arranged for his killing to protect President Trump. Although I have a low opinion of Mr. Barr, I can’t imagine that he would do something that evil or stupid, and there’s certainly no evidence that he did. That doesn’t stop the conspiracy theorists. A Twitter user called Omar S. tweeted, “Epstein was held in a building under the control of Bill Barr &; Trump. That's all you need to know.”

Anyway, there are thousands of these tweets – literally – and that’s just on one social media outlet. And I have yet to see any of them give any evidence: no eyewitnesses, no forensics, nothing.

I’m seeing only about half as many of these silly conspiracy theories from liberals as I am from conservatives, but even if conservatives are tweeting this nonsense twice as often, it is no defense for liberals to say they are only half as crazy.

Evaluating Conspiracy Theories

How do you know that a conspiracy theory is unsupported? I blogged about this earlier. Here are some additional points:

First, when we have many conspiracy theories – Bill Clinton did it, Hillary Clinton did it on behalf of Bill Clinton, Donald Trump ordered it, or William Barr ordered it, we know right off that there isn’t any evidence. Or someone thinks that Barr or some other official ordered Epstein to be taken off suicide watch hoping that he would die. I’ve seen a few tweets saying that Russian dictator Vladimir Putin arranged for Epstein’s death to help Trump. That’s all speculation: if the conspiracy theorists had evidence, the evidence would send them to a single conspiracy theory.

Second, if you make an accusation against someone, it is your burden of proof – and no one else’s – to give evidence that your accusation is true. Debaters have known this ever since Richard Whately wrote about it centuries ago.

Third, if the conspiracy theory erupts before any evidence is produced, you know that suspicion and fear, not reality, brought it into existence. In music, comedy, chess, and conspiracy theorizing, timing is everything.

Fourth, questions aren’t evidence. Yes, important questions should be answered. But are there unanswered questions? Of course. So what? As life putters along, you will always ask more questions than you will hear answers. Questions are just questions. Questions prove nothing.  Deal with it.

Suspicion + fear = conspiracy theories. But only evidence gives us truth. 

P.S.: Is it possible that some of Epstein’s rich and famous friends are sex criminals? Yes, it’s possible, but I will wait to make up my mind until I see the evidence. If they are guilty, I hope they get a fair trial and a long prison sentence. If they are not proved guilty, stop accusing them.  Proof: it’s a good thing to have.